THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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The helmet that Robby Gordon threw at Michael Waltrip was temporarily pulled off the online auction site eBay on Wednesday after bidding exceeded $10 million.
The site ended the auction because it was unable to verify the legitimacy of the bids and because Gordon didn't have the proper documentation showing that he planned to donate the proceeds of the sale to charity, eBay spokesman Hani Durzy said.
But it's been relisted -- and here's the good news:
The auction now has a letter proving that all proceeds will go to the Harrah's Fund, and bidding now requires proof of the ability to pay for the helmet.
We're so PROUD of you, Meg "Mug" Whitman!
By the way, proprietors of the greatest business organization since the virgin birth of St. Warren, do you think we can organize more such fundraisers? I hope so! THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS definitely hopes so!
P. S. The current bid is $50,100, with 63 hours left -- plenty of time for another farce!