Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

In search of a hundred more magazine awards Mr. Mark plays the race card, and trots out his lead shallow-end deep-thinker Jonny to see how he can improve the lot of the poor people millionaire scribblers generally try to ignore, except when they make their beds and vacuum their floors. Now we all know the last time Jonny made suggestions it involved Camden, N. J. Fortunately, this time he's more to the point: Dubya can be -- CLINTON! He needs -- "an only-Nixon-could-go-to-China opportunity"! How about -- bringing back WELFARE! That would do it! Well if not that then what, Jonny? Oh your boss is playing the RACE CARD and you don't have any ideas. We KNEW you'd come through, JONNY!

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