THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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And the REUT commits some cleverness with numbers:
In the limited-release world, the best performer was "Shopgirl," a romance starring Claire Danes and Steve Martin. The Walt Disney Co. release earned $29,500 from just eight theaters in New York, Los Angeles and Toronto; it will be in 20 additional markets by November 4.
In the world of the REUT, where TERRORISTS are FREEDOM FIGHTERS, we must now presume that PER-SCREEN AVERAGES are TOTAL EARNINGS. Maybe this is just somebody's itchy trigger fingers itching too much, but how can we trust any NEWS HACK on any ENTERTAINMENT NUMBER CRUNCHING?