Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

Boy HOWIE HAIRSHIRT didn't need his COFFEE today to write another hundred thousand words; it seems his paper's CRITIQUING itself -- with OUTSTANDING RESULTS:

The rhetoric heated up when Pearlstein wrote that Post staffers should "admit that a lot of what we do, and how we do it, is driven by a notion of good journalism that has more to do with 'dominating' a story and keeping up with the competition or, on occasion, winning prizes, than it does with what our readers need and want. . . . Too many of our stories . . . [have] 'obligation' written all over them."

Pearlstein called for a smaller, edgier paper and complained that the opinion pages have become "too tame, too predictable, too R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-L-E and, at times, downright boring."

TRANSLATION: If careful, we'll become the HOWARD DEANS of PRINT: with PREDICTABLE results for the C-I-R-C-U-L-A-T-I-O-N! (Nothing but UP, right ST. WARREN?)

And in further outstanding news, which ROMY didn't notice:

The straight-shooting Associated Press is trying to reinvent itself with a pilot program called "asap," a print and online service aimed at 18-to-34-year-olds that has attracted 200 newspaper clients so far. The stories bristle with voice and attitude: a multimedia presentation on "Reggaeton, a hybrid of Spanish rap and reggae"; "Small, sleek and so, so sexy: An ode to the Corvette"; "Idiot in the Kitchen," the culinary misadventures of a writer married to a professional cook; and a look at a book by baseball star Jose Canseco's ex-wife that provides "vivid descriptions of his cheating, sexual preferences and even his -- yikes! -- private parts."

Isn't this glorified celebrity news and filler? Not when we're the STRAIGHT-SHOOTING AP -- and the STRAIGHT-SHOOTING HOWIE HAIRSHIRT!

Look out! He's got a GUN! BLAM!!!!!

Whew! The bullet took a 90-degree angle.