Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Tuesday, October 25, 2005

    Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

    Somehow we're not surprised to hear CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES learned of that bombing in Baghdad ahead of time so they could tape it. Already their computers are full of celebrations of 2-0-0-0 -- another reason we cannot mention the HACKS without using words like GOEBBELS and PRAVDA in the same breath.

    Never let it be said that these Islamists are savages, because we must never forget that one man's savage is another man's "freedom fighter."

    Hey! You just uttered REUTERS's motto!

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