Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, October 09, 2005

    Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

    Unfortunately the CONSPIRACY didn't do as badly as we'd hoped, but we're thinking the slump may continue until December, when all the CGI comes out and the "comparisons" aren't too bad. But we'll say it again: the "movies" are no longer a mass medium, and eventually the same crowd that keeps banging its heads for pleasure must get smaller.

    P. S. Practically every NEWS HACK in creation must have come out for THE KNIGHTING OF ST. EDWARD OF MURROW. We guess there hasn't been so much concentrated agreement (and humorlessness) since the Nuremberg rallies. We'd further guess not ONE person at any of the eleven theaters knew ANYBODY who voted for DUBYA. SIEG HEIL!

    Or should I say, "THE FAULT, DEAR BRUTUS...."

    No, news hacks HAVE no faults.

    P. P. S. Another IMMORTAL movie, this one about one of the GREATEST WRITERS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY, doubled its outlets and increased its gross by only 27 percent. Hacks, PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FAVORITES NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU HUG YOURSELVES.

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