Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

We must ask a question: is the GENIUS of [C]RAP behind the huge boom in record sales? WE know [C]RAP IS GENIUS; we have it from no less authorities than the VOLOKHEADS. [C]RAP must be GENIUS because anyone can do it; it is as widespread as influenza in 1918. So we know it's...CATCHY. Plus it...SAYS SOMETHING. (What it says we will not be foolish enough to guess, as what one BRILLIANT [C]RAPPER tends to sound just like THE NEXT; but they must ALL be saying SOMETHING BRILLIANT. Besides, we've heard Hitler's [C]RAPS.) Anybody can do [C]RAP, so anybody must be buying it. RIGHT?

We may wonder too if the noble and enlightened POLITICS of our GREATEST ARTISTES are behind this sales SURGE. After the GREAT [C]RAPPER Kenya East-West-North-South (or wherever) called DUBYA a GREAT PRESIDENT his sales SOARED BY TWO-THIRDS! And the Rolling Geezers -- all their leading Depends user Mr. Jagger had to do was say NEO-CON and he sold ZILLIONS! (We still think he thinks it's a drug -- but his heart's in the right place.) All told we're in a PLATINUM AGE OF MUSIC -- WITH PLATINUM SALES!!!!!