THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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“HE IS AS IMPORTANT IN SHAPING OPINIONS TODAY AS WALTER CRONKITE WAS IN THE '70S AND HUNTLEY AND BRINKLEY WERE IN THE '50S AND '60S!!!!!!!!!!” says Seth Siegel, co-founder of The Beanstalk Group, a BRANDING consulting firm. [And part of OMNICOM, an idiotically huge ad agency. I like cute names, don't you? --ED]
THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY has an audience of 1.4 MILLION. How big do you suppose Walter's, Chet's, and David's audience was COMBINED? YOU DON'T KNOW? That's okay -- you're SUPPOSED to SPOUT OFF your IGNORANCE.
AND WHAT MARKETING PRESS RELEASE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT A BUZZWORD?
“IT'S WHAT CABLE NEEDS MORE OF--ORIGINAL, APPOINTMENT-VIEWING PROGRAMMING!!!!!!!!!!” says Andy Donchin, senior vice president of national broadcast at media buying giant Carat USA.
And now THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY IS A PROFIT CENTER FOR SUMNER!!!!!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO MATT "FLIM" FLAMM! FLIM! CALL VIACON!! MAKE THIS JOB PERMANENT!!!!!
P. S.
The Huntley-Brinkley Report's audience was estimated at 20 million, and in 1965, a consumer research company found that, as a result of their hugely successful news program, both Huntley and Brinkley were more recognizable to American adults than such famous stars as Cary Grant, James Stewart or the Beatles.
We can guess UNCLE HHHWWWWALT's audience was just as big. 1.4 MILLION?!?!?
P. P. S. Hey Donchin! You're quite an Einstein! You used the same brilliant words almost a year ago to plug another show! The third time you're in Bartlett's! KEEP IT UP!