Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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2/2/03 - 2/9/03

1/26/03 - 2/2/03

1/19/03 - 1/26/03

1/12/03 - 1/19/03

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Posted 10:51 AM by Gene

Jonah celebrates the return (however fleeting, we hope) of LARRY KING's "column":

But it had everything we missed from his old column: a string of bland non-sequiters of little to know redeeming value.

Here is an excerpt exactly as it appears (i.e. the elipses are his):

You "no", Jonah, Larry may have been good at "non-sequiters" but you're better for SPELING -- which is sort of an anagram of "ELIPSES", but maybe not.

You cannot make up banality like this.

Or SPELINGS!

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