Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Saturday, November 05, 2005

    Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

    LET THEM EAT ENDORSEMENTS!!!!! ST. WARREN'S TOENAIL FUNGUS REVIEW (YOUR HOLINESS!!!!!) has issued a RINGING AFFIRMATION that PAPERS should NOT RUN ENDORSEMENTS: it supports 16 DEMOCRATS and TWO REPUBLICANS for the Virginia House of Delegates. In so many words the editors at THE SEAT OF ALL WISDOM have told their readers to go to HELL. They do not now believe that they need even wear a fig leaf of objectivity; this makes it official. And no, we do not recognize any WALL OF SEPARATION between editorial and reporting, as both sides root from common sidelines against their readers.

    And yet ST. WARREN's cherubim will, in typical NEWS HACK fashion, continue to TWIST THE KNIFE in OUR BACK by malignly insisting they ARE SO IMPARTIAL, which makes one hope more than a few of these scribblers will spend some time in the afterlife wedged under a DISEASED TOENAIL.

    P. S. We can only wonder what the ratio is of political endorsements in the big papers. SIEG HEIL!

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