Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, November 20, 2005

    Posted 12:36 PM by Gene

    Rumors are afoot that al-Zarqawi has blown himself up, but we should know better than to trust one of SAM LITTLE's favorite news outlets.

    P. S. SAM's linked to it, so it's probably false.

    P. P. S. It appears to be linked to this story from another of SAM's favorites:

    EIGHT HIGH-RANKING AL QAEDA LEADERS BLEW THEMSELVES UP AFTER A LARGE AMERICAN FORCE SUNDAY NOON LAID SIEGE TO A BUILDING IN WHICH THEY WERE BARRICADED IN MOSUL, NORTHERN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!

    ...which means it's probably DOUBLE-FALSE.

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