Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Thursday, December 29, 2005

    Posted 3:47 PM by Gene

    The bad news: THE GAY COWBOYS are behind KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN.

    The further bad news is: KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN's in thirteenth place.

    The APE is climbing down the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, back to the jungle of CGI.

    P. S. at 4:55 P. M.: Woodster the Perv's GREATEST FILM EVER may be in trouble. Again, under ordinary circumstances we wouldn't pay it attention; but when the EFFETE EDELSTEINS and other such HACKS have SCREAMED THE GENIUS OF THIS 1939 SEASON we CAN'T HELP IT.

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