Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Tuesday, January 03, 2006

    Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

    The auditions begin for Effete Edelstein's vacant big chair -- and will it take a big pile of lard to fill it. First up -- and up and up -- STEVE:

    Match Point starts out crisply and deliciously, but in the end, it's a chess problem crossed with an ethics exam. I wanted to know so much more: about what it's like to be poor, to want to be rich, and to feel the force of a sexual grippe that would make you piss it all away. What do we get instead? A fact pattern lifted from Dostoevsky and soaked in nobody's warm blood.

    Very good, VERY good -- here the seat's just empty and already we have the master's way with, er, writing! Good luck, Steve -- and ALL our contestants. May the worst writer win! (As he/she/it will.)

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