Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

No denying it: LALA's The Envelope defines the show biz zeitgeist, as is blazingly evident in this prattle on the "small, literate, political-ish" emcee for the "small, literate, political-ish" Oscar® show. (Wait a second! What did we say yesterday? "An apt choice, though: the emcee -- ANCHORMAN of a CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED NEWS SHOW with a small audience doing an award show for CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MOVIES with small audiences." Somebody reads our blog through osmosis.)

And the geniuses behind the masterworks are hugging themselves: the producer of CGI LEWIS says, "There's such a need for relevancy in the world at large, and not just the movie business. You want to make the Oscars® as relevant and sexy as you can be, within the guidelines. I have [nothing against] bad taste and vulgarism in a lot of what I listen to and see...." which is how he got to be a producer. "BUT IN THE OS-CARS® THERE'S NO PLACE FOR IT!!!!!" You reaffirm our desire to live. A "film his-TO-rian and cri-TIC" says, "The Oscars® have grown into this appalling circus. We're trapped with it, and very often the films are not worthy. I don't think the host is terribly important, but to the degree that we're fed up with the show, a new host is fresh meat." (Well, ground beef, anyway. You couldn't make up these quotes. Happily Academy® members can.)

It all adds up: the universe's greatest awards ceremony could have its LOWEST RATINGS EVER, thanks in no small part to the "liberal", "cerebral and dry", "small, literate, political-ish" EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY, whose first gig may well be his last. Which may not matter anyway; as the sidebar implies, too many people watch the Academy Awards® out of habit. But then, "Producer and [A]cademy[®] member Christine Vachon says she barely remembers the host from year to year, let alone the movies" -- an apt eulogy to this cure for cancer.

P. S. We've changed our mind; with its core psychotic base the Os-CARS® will probably have the same audience as last year. Lots of people are drawn to accidents -- and the Os-CARS®.