THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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GENERAL MOTORS WILL FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!!!!!
CITIGROUP WILL MERGE WITH GOLDMAN SACHS!!!!!
COMCAST WILL BUY CBS!!!!!
RUPERT MURDOCH WILL BUY ‘THE WALL STREET JOURNAL’!!!!!
PFIZER AND BRISTOL-MYERS SQUIBB WILL MERGE, AND MERCK WILL SNAP UP SCHERING-PLOUGH!!!!!
THE U.S. STOCK MARKET WILL GO NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
And you having made these predictions, we'll make one of own:
JIM BOOM-BOOM CRAMER LOSES HIS BIG C JOB IN TWO YEARS AFTER LOSING MONEY FOR HIS CLIENT -- VIEWERS MAKING SCREWY PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!
(Via the Rom, who is not interested in drugs, but who should be as he's a leading cause of heartburn)