Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, January 03, 2006

    Posted 6:40 PM by Gene

    Tomorrow night's CITIGROUP BOWL, or NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BOWL!!!!!, or whatever ESPNCORP NETWORK wants to call it, will likely be the last nellie for Keith Jackson, who is 77 and aches, and has "retired" once already. He can see the writing on the wall -- or hear the screaming of the TINNY TENORS OF FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPORTS who will largely take over the BCS racket next year. Farewell, Keith. We'll remember your voice.

    RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have TIM Mc-CAR-VER do the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BOWL!!!!!

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