Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, February 05, 2006

    Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

    I'm not watching it -- I'm following it haphazardly on the Web -- but this sounds like it could be another SUPER BORE: disorganized and dyspeptic for the first twenty minutes, but with the kind of frenetic finish that causes news hacks to belch words like CLASSIC. Let's face it, for all the event's unconquerable mountains of piffle, the Bore's first half is surely one of the most torpid things in all sport.

    Fans would surely like a knock-down-drag-out offensive showcase, 49-45, with an overtime for good measure. That is highly unlikely to happen because football, like a lot of America, is so micromanaged as to squeeze every last bit of spontaneity out of it -- and the SUPER BORE isn't about football anyway, it's about bloviating.

    With any luck we'll be back to the blowouts of yore, but I have this feeling that now they won't happen either; we haven't had one in years. The only reason I hope for a blowout is to show up all those zillionaire freaks in person solely for the ego trip.

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