Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, February 08, 2006

    Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

    I'm obsessed with advertising because we pay through the nose for junk media, and ads are a huge part of the expense. Tide is one of those products P&G's GOTTAADVERTISEGOTTAADVERTISEGOTTAADVERTISE, when it's perfectly clear to its millions of regular users the product's quality advertises itself. God knows how many drones we finance in MadAve and Cincinnati with useless jobs with impressive titles because P&G's GOTTAADVERTISEGOTTAADVERTISEGOTTAADVERTISE. The only people who deserve credit and raises are the researchers and manufacturing types who improve the product every year -- and we spend a fraction on them what we spend for P&G'S @#$%&* ADVERTISING.

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