THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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Returning to the subject of McClatchy-Knight Ridder, Ivins said: "Of course, McClatchy intends to merge the Washington bureaus. GUESS WHICH WASHINGTON BUREAU HAS THE DISTINCTION OF BEING THE ONLY ONE TO REPORT SKEPTICALLY ON THE ADMINISTRATION'S CLAIMS ABOUT IRAQ'S WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION BEFORE THE WAR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
So THAT's it -- DUBYA's behind the CLATCH. He's secretly funneling money so it can buy all these papers and put SKEPTICAL WAR COVERAGE out of business. I've got an idea, Molly -- have the KNIGHTRIDDER WASHINGTON BUREAU INVESTIGATE!!!!!
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!