Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

BLOWOUT. What a sweet word. Not that I'm a Gator fan; I couldn't care less which bunch of mercenaries wins. It's sweet because all those six-digit HACKS can't boast of their presence with words like "thriller" and "classic." It's sweet because all those ADVERTISERS wasted all that money. It's sweet because all those high-muckymucks who sit on their hands at these events had to squirm and be BORED. I LOVE blowouts.

Just one bad thing: Corporate America's clerks and secretaries will suffer for days as countless CEOs scream: "I WAS AT THE NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP AND YOU WEREN'T -- AND IT WAS THE MOST @#$%&* BORING GAME I EVER SAW!!!!!"

P. S. A game show beat the game.

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