Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, April 01, 2006

    Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

    For the longest time news hacks have been the Wallendas of words, refusing to take one side or the other of a topic in the name of "neutrality", even as they devise new ways of spinning their stories. The combination of forced neutrality and spin is why we cannot trust them. There must be a truth somewhere, and news hacks won't find it engaged in their version of a high-wire act. And besides, we know the biz is on the side of THE ANGELS when it comes to porn, just as it is with ABORTION.

    CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES, PUT UP OR SHUT UP.

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