Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, April 01, 2006

    Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

    I've come up with a new EDDIEISM: roving Dixieland bands! Today there was a not-all-that-good one on South Street, playing the same tunes over and over and over ("You Are My Sunshine", "When the Saints Go Marching In"), and I thought to myself, RENDELLISTS are always selling this city as THE CAPITAL OF MUSIC (never mind that practically all the music was made long ago), so why not have three or four roving Dixieland bands tooting for the tourists to entice them into spending more money at our INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED RESTAURANTS to help pay for more of the waiters and janitors and dishwashers and cooks who'll move our city into the 21ST-CENTURY ECONOMY!

    It can't be worse than RENDELLMINIUMS as a force for economic "growth."

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