Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, April 02, 2006

    Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

    THE REVENGE OF IVAN LENDL: Wrong-Way's lapping the field reminds us of what happens when a sport has no personalities. Doubtless when he putts on eighteen he'll receive the same rousing ovation as, er, Vijay. Tennis began its long slow decline into nothingness when Ivan Lendl won 400 majors and got a lukewarmer reception each time. Golf is following in the same torpid track. We would challenge even the most diehard golf nut to identify half the folks on the leaderboard. Except among wastrel CEOs and ZILLIONAIRE TOADYING NEWS HACKS even THE GOLFING MACHINE has lost some luster. When a game becomes a mere exercise in physical prowess, it ceases to be interesting. Those who think sports are forever should look at how so many are in decline, having been Lendlized by superior ciphers into boredom.

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