Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, April 19, 2006

    Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

    These guys (writing for a certain second-rate site) may think they've come across a bold nugget of wisdom, but THE CONSPIRACY may be shooting itself in its already toeless foot when it doesn't run press screenings. We forget the AD-BLURBISTS have huzzahed MANY gross-out "comedies"; arguably they affirmed the...genre with their raves. The worst these hacks would say is that a film is not quite as HILARIOUS as the classics of grossout before them. And they have a guaranteed audience of the mentally -- gifted. Why not screen them? It might mean an extra few bucks in the BEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OH. Besides, ad-blurbists know how to clear consciences -- yours and theirs.

    P. S.

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