Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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    Saturday, May 06, 2006

    Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

    Judging from these numbers MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE may not be doing as well as expected. It's a measure of the news hacks' stupidity that we should say a film that drew roughly two million movie S&M phreaks its first day is not doing well, but such is our culture's stupidity that we center our lives around every CGI fest and its gross. And we know these are overblown mediocrities at best; Mr. Upthumb, in an exceedingly rare display of candor, said so.

    Three more things: people are screaming from the other movies in droves; the B.O. is down over 12 percent from two years ago, when WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE had stopped whapping; and no, people don't want to relive 9/11 in a popcorn restaurant.

    P. S. Indeed -- THE SON OF GOD pulled in less biz than VAN HOSING -- at MORE POPCORN RESTAURANTS?!?!?

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