Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, May 07, 2006

    Posted 12:21 PM by Gene

    MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE may have done $3.7 MILLION LESS than VAN HOSING -- at over 500 MORE SCREENS!!!!!

    MARTY CHEERLEADER!

    PAUL DRECK'S SPIN MACHINE is WHIRRING!

    HEY SUMNER! How many patrons did your ZILLIONS in MEGAMARKETING COST you? Hey SUM! Was I the only one more than a little annoyed at the way your pal MR. WARNER BROS. shoved your property in our faces? HUH SUM?

    And what about your COUCH BOUNCING and SILENT BIRTHING, O SON OF GOD?

    $37 MILLION LESS THAN X2 THREE YEARS AGO! (X-WHAT?)

    P. S. NIKKI!!!!! accuses the SON OF GOD'S CHURCH of BULK TICKET BUYING!

    Didn't help much.

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