THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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All RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!! Mr. Mark runs an AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just one problem: the TWXSTERS ran NEWS.
I must say it for the thousandth time: if the people who ran these piles of pulp concentrated on reporting they might make them worthwhile again. But no, they must turn them into ADVERTORIALS.
As for the TWXSTERS' story, this doesn't surprise us. We wonder what other plots came to a halt due to sheer inertia.
OR:
HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR SUPERSTARDOM, SO SUPERSTARDOM CAME LOOKING FOR HIM!! JOHNNY DEPP ON FAMILY, 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2'—AND HOW HE GOT A CHEST OF GOLD WITHOUT SELLING HIS SOUL!!!!!
Whoever wrote this is getting a BIG promotion. Whoever wrote this should be FIRED.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to MR. MARK and SEAN SMITH!