Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, June 19, 2006

    Posted 11:22 AM by Gene

    MORE MONUMENTAL SPORTS WRITING:

    "I just can't believe I did that," Mickelson said early Sunday evening, his face still glassy with sweat after making [SIC] a double bogey on the 72nd hole to turn a one-stroke lead into a monumental -- and history-changing -- collapse.

    HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING! LIKE BUNKER HILL! LIKE PEARL HARBOR! LIKE...WRONG-WAY CHOKING AT THE OPEN!

    HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING!

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