Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, June 06, 2006

    Posted 2:51 PM by Gene



    Robert "Over the" Hilburn has a new name, and it's Christopher Knight! We do not know why this now-painted over masterwork rivals the Mona Lisa or the Sistine Chapel, but it does not take much of an imagination to see our impassioned hack defending a wallful of graffi -- AHT painted over. But then being a NEWS HACK requires NO imagination -- or brains. The word effete seems to have been invented just for typists like Christopher Knight, and thanks to such effusions fewer people take "cri-TICS" seriously anymore.

    Wanna bet this expulsion inspires a "restoration" project -- at enormous TAXPAYER expense?

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