Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, July 01, 2006

    Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

    Press releases such as this are an argument for having no story go over 150 words. By limiting stories to such a length news hacks have little opportunity to spin or sell, or to insult our intelligence. They'd have to stick to facts. Once you give a hack all that land he starts to piddle all over it.

    A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO "HORNY" HORN!

    P. S. Now would be a good time for an intelligent member of Congress to write an open letter to SAMMY GLICKMAN in LALA threatening censorship. We can dream, can't we?

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