Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, August 11, 2006

    Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

    Little Malcolm runs a press release for MySpace and Skype that proclaims them HOTHOTHOT!!!!!, and then by accident he includes a sidebar of quotes of all the companies that will supposedly benefit from these HOTHOTHOT!!!!! properties:

    1. Apple: its options shenanigans prove the LORD GOD STEVE may be mortal.

    2. Amazon.com: a good solid retailer -- but who wants to owns stock in retailers?

    3. eBay: It was at $60 a share?

    4. Google: We thought by now it would be $2 million a share. What gives? Click fraud?

    5. IAC/InterActive: A fancy name for Home Shopping Network and TicketGouger. Barry Diller doesn't walk on water anymore. How many more times does he change the name of his second-rate -- portal?

    6. Microsoft. Can it really go back to bubble mode overpricing Vista?

    7. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If MySpace is so great how come Your stock hasn't gone anywhere lately?

    8. THE TWXSTERS. Nuf said.

    9. Yahoo! Even helping jail Chinese dissidents doesn't work that much.

    When news hacks start talking HOTHOTHOT!!!!! about investments, watch your money. They did this before.

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