Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, August 25, 2006

    Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

    A mutiny in professional college football:

    Will the new clock rules speed up the game? The first new clock rule states the clock will start when the ball is kicked, not when the receiving team touches it. The other rule states the game clock begins on a change of possession when the ball is ready for play.

    The new changes are expected to shorten games about 10 to 24 plays a game, which could affect statistics, records and end-of-game situations. Which is why the changes have rankled plenty of coaches before the first second of the season's clock has ticked.

    "I don't particularly like it because I think it's all geared to speed up the game for television. Television, I think, is dominating everything we do," Penn State coach Joe Paterno said.

    Paterno's suggestion? Cut some commercials.

    Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

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