THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Aug. 5, 2006 — Sure, they've got rock solid abs and a mouth full of pearly-whites, but Hollywood's hottest hunks have been losing out to the funny guys who are redefining what it means to be sexy. Chiseled features or not, ladies everywhere are looking to swap good looks for laughs.
"Funny men are incredibly appealing because it's just an instant good time," said Caroline Schaefer, Senior Editor at US Weekly. "They love the laughter. They love the sense of humor."
It's been reported that sparks flew between Jennifer Aniston and her funny man Vince Vaughn on the set of their movie "The Breakup."
"If Jennifer Aniston wants to come my way and she wants me to make her laugh, hah hah, I am your trained monkey," said actor Michael Ian Black. "Whatever you need, I will supply."
Black jokes that he's the whole package.
"Do I have the rock hard abs?" he said. "Yeah, however I also have the winning personality and the winning smile that launched a thousand ships."
Aniston isn't the only one who chose someone who would make her laugh. Heather Locklear traded her rocker hubby Richie Sambora for comedian David Spade. Even bombshell Jenny McCarthy found her match with the always unpredictable Jim Carrey.
Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell and Jerry Seinfeld are well known for seducing women with their wit.
"They're not afraid to make a fool of themselves," Schaefer said. "They're also very easy-going, they sort of go with the flow."
ABC News's Taina Hernandez reported this story for "Good Morning America."
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News hacks think they're the smartest people on the planet, yet they keep redefining the meaning of STUPID.