Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, September 17, 2006

    Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

    C'mon, LittleJon -- this is YOUR rag now! The least we could have done is get thirty interns to scour the Web for a cover on the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL pope -- you know, just like the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL GOP (A plug for HBO? Guys, what does ST. WARREN think?). Instead you run one of those write-by-numbers PEOPLE NEWSRAG 100-type stories on twenty up-and-coming women! C'mon, LittleJon! We MUST do better than this if we're to win the war against our readers!

    But hey, the new leading light of American JERNALISM does make himself, er, time to be a movie cri-TIC. Yep, this is your rag now -- even MORE selling, even MORE spinning.

    Meanwhile the TWXSTERS imagine war against Iran. We can imagine it too.

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