Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in The Cute Little Pink Paper, Mr. Greatest Musical Ever regales us with a story of an immortal talent:

It takes all sorts, as Wittgenstein used to say over tea and crumpets. Joseph Pujol—a.k.a. La Petomane or “The Fartist”—literally farted his way to great fame and fortune. His astonishing innate talent, which at the height of his powers earned him more than Sarah Bernhardt, was first noticed at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, when he appeared poker-faced, dressed in immaculate evening wear to fart at will in perfect pitch to various classical concertos and popular songs.

Women in the audience fainted from laughing so much. They had to be carried out on stretchers by attendant nurses. La Petomane’s farts could also render a perfect imitation of the sound of several yards of cloth being slowly ripped or, if he felt like it, of rapid machine-gun fire, and all while he accompanied himself on the violin.

We wonder why the Great Prince Hal didn't line up such talent for his musi-CAL festi-VAL. Our flack apologizes for not being able to find similar genius among the offerings -- but in fact he already found one five years ago.