Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, September 10, 2006

    Posted 9:38 PM by Gene

    The Guardian prints what it supposes to be an iconoclastic piece on "declining" iPod sales, and some spiritual site called MacDailyNews responds politely -- at least, as politely as the most fervent acolyte of the Religion of STEVE could:

    MacDailyNews Note: iPod unit sales:
    • Q4 03: 336,000
    • Q1 04: 733,000 (holiday quarter)
    • Q2 04: 807,000
    • Q3 04: 860,000
    • Q4 04: 2,016,000
    • Q1 05: 4,580,000 (holiday quarter)
    • Q2 05: 5,311,000
    • Q3 05: 6,155,000
    • Q4 05: 6,451,000
    • Q1 06: 14,043,000 (holiday quarter)
    • Q2 06: 8,526,000
    • Q3 06: 8,111,000

    DURING NO QUARTER HAVE YEAR-TO-YEAR IPOD SALES DECLINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     [Overemphasis added]

    Thank you for the hint, o priests of Jobism -- and the annoying audio pop-under ad that accompanied it.

    (First article via the inevitable Slashdot)

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