Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Little Boy Jonny has barely warmed his seat in the editor's luxury office and he's proving he can play tricks on the public with the best of them! He says we're LOSING AFGHANISTAN!!!!! (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!) and puts that story on the cover of the INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS -- but NOT DOMESTICALLY, where he does some extended blurb on some trendy photographer (not Bilal, by the way), whose first graf goes like this:

Annie Leibovitz is tired and nursing a cold, and she' s just flown back to New York on the red-eye from Los Angeles, where she spent two days shooting Angelina Jolie for Vogue. Like so many of her photo sessions, there was nothing simple about it. "I talked with Angelina before the shoot," says Leibovitz, who's famous for her preparation. "She felt like she was coming back from having the baby and she felt very sexy and ready to go." Jolie, a pilot, suggested shooting on an old airfield near the desert, with motorcycles and small planes among the props. (She flew herself to the location and the next day, Brad Pitt buzzed up in his plane.) They also spent a day shooting in the dunes near Death Valley, where the mercury hit 104, and the wind whipped so hard that everyone was peppered with sand. There were 50 people on the set, and racks of clothes from the New York spring collections to be tried and styled. It was as if Leibovitz were directing a small movie.

It's bad enough that you cheer on the Taliban internationally, but you don't have the guts to stick the middle finger in our faces, opting instead for celebrity twaddle, because you know some of your readers might see through it -- or worse, cancel their subscriptions. What a louse! For this alone ST. WARREN should DOUBLE YOUR SALARY!

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO LITTLE BOY JONNY -- and he's a finalist for our NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD!