Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, September 06, 2006

    Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

    Our peripatetic Branson East correspondent Mr. Riedel sums up the vast riches visitors to that broken-down Disneyland near the Hudson can expect soon: THE BEST BRITISH MUSICAL EVER!!!!! that might be too British for Branson East; KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S SECOND HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE MASTERWORK!!!!!, and another musical version of Anna Christie!!!!!

    These shows will echo through the corridors of time!

    We suspect with KERNGERSHWIN's immortality the hacks have their hard drives locked and loaded, but KERN may labor at a slight disadvantage without THE BOYS.

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