Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, October 04, 2006

    Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

    GOP Lawmaker Calls for Rumsfeld to Quit

    When we saw this (why didn't the ASSociated Press give this a NEWS ALERT!!!!!!!!!?) we thought, the first name must begin with a C, and the last name must begin with S. Do we dare click on the link? So we did, and....

    Rep. Chris Shays, who is facing a tough challenge from an anti-war Democrat....

    Well! I was RIGHT, for once.

    TRANSLATION: Pwease, don't kick me out of Congwess! I'm one of the good guys! WAAAAAAAAH!

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