THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Yes, PILLHEAD, we know how the Dems are Hollywood's favorite party. Yes, PILLHEAD, we remember things like the House Banking and Post Office scandals. They were pretty poor stuff. But you've got to realize, PILLHEAD, your side has lost three Congressmen in less than a year: two to guilty pleas on grave corruption charges, the third to his secret life as a pedophile. (Four if we count your friend the twisting-in-the-wind SNIDELY.) If the other side wins, PILLHEAD, it won't have been because it forced a gun to Duke's and Bob's heads and told them to sell out, or to Horny Mark's head to tell him to seduce boys.