Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, October 02, 2006

    Posted 1:23 PM by Gene

    Whenever something like this happens I think of my old friend DICK "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE!!!!!!!!!!" CORLISS. See Dick, if GUNS caused crime there wouldn't be crimes. Guns can't cause crimes. Only the people who use guns can cause crimes. We will not guess what prompted such a catastrophe, but most likely it wasn't a GUN.

    P. S. We wonder if this unspeakable act will be the hook gloating malevolent news hacks will use to promote gun control after a long silence. I wouldn't do that. You mention gun control -- we can mention YOU.

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