Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, November 05, 2006

    Posted 2:12 PM by Gene

    We smile because Carl Hiaasen may someday be known solely as the twit who inflicted ERAGON on us, and who provided The Bionic Woman with new BREASTS; that notwithstanding, this sales pitch for his latest book is the kind of gargantuan logrolling that usually means the opposite of what it says. For years people called Robert Benchley funny. Then they called S. J. Perelman funny. Then they called James Thurber funny. With rare exceptions (mostly Thurber's) they aren't funny anymore. And how many comic novelists live in posterity's ditch? The prolific Peter De Vries was once celebrated as a fun-NY comic novelist -- all of TWO of his books are in print, only one a comic novel. No, to our thinking, Carl Hiaasen is the twit who inflicted ERAGON on us, and provided The Bionic Woman with new BREASTS.

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