THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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"The president is always giving out medals to other people," Colbert explained. So he planned to joke at the D.C. event, " 'Nobody ever gives him awards, and that is wrong. So tonight,' and we had this printed up, 'I am here to present to the president the highest award that Stephen Colbert can present to the president . . . It's called a Certificate of Presidency.' It was a little sheet of paper that said, 'I, Stephen Colbert, hereby recognize George W. Bush is president of the United States.' " Reflected Colbert, "At that point in the speech, 'cause it was right about the middle, I looked over and I went, I'm not going to do that." Where is the "certificate" now? Colbert keeps it framed on his wall as a personal "woulda, shoulda, coulda" memento.
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