THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Barker said he couldn't understand why he, and his show, have become cult favorites for college students. He talks about the number of young people who ask him to say his salty line from his appearance in the Adam Sandler movie "Happy Gilmore."
"I've been in television 50 years and what am I going to be remembered for?" he said, then repeated his line. [SIC]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO THE ASSPRESS AND ITS SECRET WRITER!
P. S. on 1/20 at 10:30 a.m.: For the first time (and probably the last) David "PLATINUM" Bianculli does something right. I guess you have to be a stupid drunk teen to find that line funny -- or maybe THE BIONIC GAME-SHOW HOST.