Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, February 16, 2007

    Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

    A DOUBLE-TRAGEDY IN BRANSON EAST: RICHARD RODGERS'S GRANDSON and William "Nobody Knows Anything" Goldman have "acrimoniously" split over developing another Camelot theme park (it had to do with "ownership" -- something R&H would have appreciated); and MATTHEW may not appear with NATHAN again, because he sorta kinda doesn't like him -- and he can't stand KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN anymore after he STIFFED him for that new MUSICAL SITCOM!

    What will Branson East do without such promising attractions? Such high-voltage theme parks? Produce more junk as usual.

    "Their act is over," says a veteran producer.

    WHAT? It was only supposed to live FOREVER!

    P. S.

    "He vus my boyfriend/He vould come home in a snit/He vould have a terrible fit/I am the first thing he vould hit/But I didn't give a s---/He vus my boyfriend."

    Still sure this is a MASTERPIECE, Ben Brantleys?

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