Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, February 07, 2007

    Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

    In other musical news we see the CHILD MOLESTER MISTUH GLITTUH has gotten his sentence reduced thanks to "a nationwide Lunar New Year prison amnesty", which somehow seems fitting.

    In fifty years idiots will still play HIS HOOK in arenas. Well, you know, Cole Porter blahblahblah....First, Cole Porter didn't bugger kids, and second, he didn't write for arenas.

    By the way, we see the hacks are ignoring Mr. Laine's death. Don't worry -- when WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE DYLAN GOES the month-long period of state-media mourning will be so intense it will make people SCREAM -- provided there's still a news biz.

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