THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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But Oscars Still Suspenseful
Suspenseful! We're sitting at the edge of the rear of our seat, Andrew, busily filing our fingernails, wondering which of five arthouse properties (well four; Mr. Taxi Driver's is an HONORARY arthouse flick) will take home the coveted ACADEMY AWARD®, to do a few more millions of biz at the popcorn restaurants, and then rest in eternal slumber in the back catalog. Oh yes, Mr. Sarris, we're trembling with excitement -- at the thought that once again we can miss the Os-CARS®.
This has to be one of the most lunkheaded heds ever in The Cute Little Pink Paper. We would think Mr. Sarris is old enough to know better -- but then again, he's a MOVIE AD-BLURBIST.