Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, March 09, 2007

    Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

    You may recall a few months ago Bugmeister sent out a patch to fix computers for Congress's NEW! IMPROVED! Daylight Saving Time coming up -- but didn't send it out as a "critical" patch while insisting the NEW! IMPROVED! IE7 was. Now, no small thanks to Bug's synergistically tiny thinking, people are rushing around fixing their computers at the last minute and thanking the God He runs twenty-seven universes.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!

    P. S. at 6:35 p. m.:

    Electronic Data Systems Corp. made a promise to users of the 3.5 million desktop computers the company manages for clients: You won't miss the Monday morning meeting.

    Wouldn't alarm clocks do?

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