Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, April 11, 2007

    Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

    You have to wonder -- what would Harold...er, Howard...er, Howell (I'm having trouble coming up with his name; please be patient) Stein? Stone? Strom? What would he think about Old Whiskey Fumes? "Jeez," he must be cogitating, in whatever purgatory he gnashes his teeth, "when I signed with Mel I could say anything I wanted to say! And then I died and -- nobody cared! God, I feel for Don -- almost; if only he could be obscure -- like me!"

    Ay, there's the rub: If Harold -- Stang (?) said what Gutter Reek said, nobody would care. But because he's as much on display as a flasher's implement, his hubris is unavoidable.

    P. S.



    A picture of Howell Stang. He was the voice of Top Cat.

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