Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

The Paper of Re-CORD is busy today!

1. It discovers, much to its chagrin, that liberals (?!?!?) back gun rights! (?!?!?) Of course these are liberals like Larry Tribe, who may not be too trustworthy in the first place -- or as the Paper puts it, "Scholars who agree with gun opponents and support the collective rights view say the professors on the other side may have been motivated more by a desire to be provocative than by simple intellectual honesty." Rather like Michael Kinsley and Stale.com, n'est-ce pas?

2. Happily groups like MOVEON.ORG and the other celebrated NETROOTS screamers are pushing ever more vigorously for the Dems to get us outOUTOUT!!!!! of Iraq, which seems to have helped the Dems immensely.

3. We hear what we've said pretty much all along -- business is trying to be PC for profit. How long, say, Little Jeffy gets by with that gag depends on how long His shareholders are willing to take $35 a share -- and given the late ranting over Goodthings Entertainment, we'd say not very.

4. The Paper also discovers that Old Whiny Wine Brine bequeathed his medium a ton of would-be loudmouthed millionaire drunks, which means thousands are saying stupid things on the air, and their bosses think the advertisers don't care -- true enough. True also that the liberal's idea of taking care of the rot is the Fairness Doctrine, but then both sides would send anyone they disagree with to a concentration camp, which may explain all those would-be drunks. True further that without these jerks the medium would have thousands of hours of dead air -- which, given the likes of CHEAP CHANNEL and SUMNER, isn't a bad idea.

5. In news of cul-TYURE, Manohla Granola believes if you're going to be held hostage by Jerry Dreckheimer and Sony Pictures, it's best to think the hostage holder is your friend. It may be a problem, however, when the hostage holders inflict you with non-stop TV shows on the big screen, and if that isn't punishable by the Geneva Conventions we don't know what is. Neither does it help that Manohla Granolas and Jerry Dreckheimers view hack sci-fi as "legit."

6. Finally, in a topic dear to my heart, Encores!, which stages concert versions of old musicals, is putting on a "revue of revues" -- a good idea on paper with songs like "Dancing in the Dark" (NO, I do NOT mean "THE 'BOSS'", KIM WILDE, MIKE MAREEN or JESSY) -- only the shows were padded with sketches, and as the producer Mr. Zaks says, "Ninety-five percent of them did not make us laugh....Some of them must have been uproarious at the time, hilarious. But we would just sit there and look at each other." "But at their heart," the Paper of Re-CORD continues, "revues were disposable entertainment, a flash in the pan, the 'Saturday Night Live' of their day." Huh?!? John Belushi will be funny forever!